Ladies and gentlemen….a spring-loaded dick in a box from the 1800s. It made for a great gift
humanity’s sense of humour has not progressed much in the last hundred years
It’s just been perfected
If death is immanent…
Never. Get. Caught. Alive. Ever.
FIGHT UNTIL YOU DIE. DIE WELL.
I don’t think enough people understand that this is a reference to the fact that semen glows under UV light
and that Dateline was a show used to trap pedophiles and other sex offenders and arrest them
If Supernatural outright said HALF the things they blatantly imply via reference, they’d be banned from CABLE.
Alright guys, this shit got me heated.
So today as I was getting ready for school, I get a call from my youngest sister’s elementary school clinic. My sister gets on the phone and tells me she is sitting out of class because her skirt is too short. “You need to bring me one that goes down to my knees, they said,” is what she told me.
Quick recap: My sister is eleven years old, in fifth grade, and has some mental and physical disabilities. She’s the tallest girl in her class. Also, the dress code states her skirt must be down to her fingertips, not her knees.
When I get there, I insisted I see her instead of just dropping her stuff off. I was not suprised to find her with a skirt obviously within the rules of the dress code. I asked her what class she was missing and she told me math. She’d been sitting out for atleast twenty or thirty minutes while she waited for me to come.
She only learns things at about a third of the pace as everyone else in her class. Even missing this short amount of time means missing a lot of information for her. Just to recap: she has to sit out of class because of the length of her skirt. She can’t even just sit in her classroom while she waits for me, because apparently that’s too distracting. To whom, you ask? I can’t really tell you. Are ten year old boys, fifth grade boys already old enough to be sexualizing her to the point that they were going so insane with horniness that they had to whisk her away until she could put on something ‘decent’.
So not only are the sexualizing a fifth grader, they are giving her different rules for the dress code based on her height and making her miss valuable class time. This bullshit needs to stop. Eleven goddamn years old and she’s already being taught her body isn’t her own anymore, that she’s being too provocative if she wears a skirt to the same standard as all the other short, skinny girls in her class just because she looks older.
As a P.S., I would like to point out that she is already bullied because of her disabilities. Pulling her out of class and making her change is even more of an embarrassment, and only leads to more teasing.
please signal boost this.
son these grades are unacceptable
well maybe if you’d stop eating my fucking homework dad
it’s a strange transition going from talking to the same person every day to speaking with no one throughout the course of the day
DONT GIVE THEM IDEAS.
lol these were all shown at the end of 22 Jump Street
this is the franchise making fun of itself
im laughing because for sunday school they changed out jonah hill for seth rogen
Look at that excellent chin muffler! Gosh, Tom is unbearably good humored about being ambushed.Shared by Jason Gould, from somewhere in Calgary…"Has anyone ever told you you look like Tom Hardy?""Yeah.""Do you happen to be him?""Yeah.""Could I by chance get a photo with you?""Not in the fu***ng bathroom, mate.""Yeah, fair enough."
Hierarchy of Beards poster photo from Aaron Taylor on flickr.
Anonymous said: Bet you can't gif the entire Frozen.
u wanna bet m8?
she just stood there dong this little dance until we got up
lauren stop being the coolest at everything
Someone has never grown up as a boy
Oh look, someone who has never grown up as a male, assuming how males grow up. That we don’t get told the same thing. you’ll fit right into to tumblr.
"men don’t cry"
"be a man"
"that’s not manly"
"play with action figures instead"
"No hitting girls "(but not boys)
"men protect girls even at the cost of their lives" (check like…any action children’s movie or…adult movie)
"It isn’t manly to do that."
"boys are dirty"
"snips, snails, and puppy dog tails"
"boys are stupid"
And it is even worse if you are gay growing up and your parents don’t approve (like most gay people growing up over the past 20 years in the US)
"no cooking, that isn’t manly"
"you need guy friends"
"go to the gym"
"be sure to work hard enough to support two people. you might get married someday"
"go hit on girls"
"pay for meals for girls"
"that’s what boys are supposed to do"
Maybe shut your biased one-sided mouth and stop spreading misinformation. This kind of thing is why the struggles of men are joked about and not taken seriously. Men must lead perfect lives and thus have nothing to worry about. We don’t worry about men who are overweight because they must not have any struggles from that. We don’t need to help the majority of depression victims because they’re men. We don’t need to help the majority of violence victims because they’re men. We can just laugh a man getting his penis cut off and put into a garbage disposal. It’s only a man.
I grew up being told what it is to be a man every step through my life. I was told that men have muscles, eat a lot, and get dirty. In most of the books I read and kids movies I watched, I was told that I need to risk my life for women. “women and children first”, “never hit a woman” (even if she was the one attacking), “protect women” (instead of protect people). I was told that their lives are held more value than mine.
I was told to grow up and find a good job, not for me, but so that I would be found attractive by a girl and so that I could spend money on her to make her happy, but not expecting the same treatment. I was told to date women by picking them up, driving them to a restaurant, paying tons of money on them, buy them a gift, and drop them off. Of course none of the girls that I went to school with were told to do the same thing. ”Because that’s what being a man is.”
I was told that I wasn’t aloud to cook because “it wasn’t manly enough”, even though it’s what I liked to do. Even though I didn’t have any friends and didn’t like going outside, I was forced out because “boys like to run around and get dirty”. I was told that women don’t like flabby men and that I should get thinner (more manly) to attract a woman.
How dare you assume that I as a boy was not constantly told what it is to be a man. How dare you spread that only women get told that.
It’s a horrible thing when influential people spread misinformation like this because more often than not, people will believe you, whether you know what you’re talking about or not.
Exactly! It’s okay to address female issues (especially one’s that are unique to them) but don’t turn a blind eye towards all the shitty expectations that are thrown into men and wave that bullshit, “male privilege” card around.
Im tired of ignorant ass people who say ignorant as shit. Men don’t have a perfect life. In fact, the shit you see men deal with you don’t call shit because it’s just part and parcel of the male experience. You noticed when it happened to women because you’re fucking CONDITIONED (on top of having a biological drive) to see this shit when it happens to women. You see that women are swimming in this giant fucking radioactive cesspool right alongside the men and you see the deformations that they get from it. But you look at the men and notice that ALL of them have deformations from the radiation so you conclude “it must not harm men.” Go fuck yourself.
working 9 to 5
I live in Osaka, Japan and often use the subway to go to work in the morning. One day while I was waiting for the train, I noticed a homeless man standing in the corner of the subway station muttering to himself as people passed by. He was holding out a cup and seemed to be begging for spare change.
An overweight woman passed by the homeless man and I distinctly heard him say, “Pig.”
Wow, this man is insulting people and he still expects them to give him money?
Then a tall businessman went by and the man muttered, “Human.”
Human? I can’t argue with that. Obviously, he was human.
The next day, I arrived early at the subway station and had some time to kill, so I decided to stand close to the homeless man and listen to his strange mutterings. A thin, haggard-looking man passed in front of him and I heard the homeless guy mutter, “Cow.” Cow? The man was much too skinny to be a cow. To me, he resembled a turkey or a chicken. A minute or so later, an obese man went by and the homeless man said, “Potato.” Potato? I was under the impression that he called all fat people “Pig”.
That day at work, I couldn’t stop thinking about the homeless man and his puzzling behavior. I kept trying to find some logic or pattern in what he as muttering. Perhaps he has some kind of psychic ability. In Japan many people believe in reincarnation, so maybe he knows what these people were during a previous life. I observed the man many times and began to think my theory was right. I often heard him calling people things like “Rabbit”, “Onion”, “Sheep”, or “Tomato”.
One day, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to ask him what was going on. As I walked up to him, he looked at me and said, “Bread.” I tossed some money into his cup and asked him if he had some kind of psychic ability. The man smiled and said, “Yes, indeed. It is an ability I obtained many years ago, but it’s not what you might expect. I can’t tell the future or read minds or anything like that.”
“Then what is your ability?” I asked eagerly.
“The ability is merely to know the last thing somebody ate,” he said.
I laughed because I realized he was right. He said, “Bread.” The last thing I had eaten for breakfast that day was toast. I walked away shaking my head. Of all the psychic abilities someone could have, that one must be the most useless.
HUMANSWEET MOTHER OF CHRIST
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